What in the World Happened?

Monday I posted about my week's grand plans. Tuesday the world crumbled around me.

I woke up to my mom making me delicious cinnamon rolls. We joked about how I needed to get busy wrapping or I would never be done. So I hurried to eat and started the wrapping. Mom came over to help with sorting the presents out into who gets what stacks. 10am I noticed she just wasn't talking normal. She was saying odd things. Out of place. So our routine when this happens is to check her blood sugar. Yep it was high. Okay. Makes sense. We treated that. No problem. We know what to do. She sat down on her couch trying to relax and she was snoring within seconds. Weird. But okay I'll let her sleep. Jeremiah woke up late and came downstairs. I was checking on Mom's blood sugar and it was back down to normal levels. But she still wasn't making sense. She told Jeremiah to "Go eat his hot dog." What? "It's breakfast Mom." "Okay...go eat your fish." Um...okay. Back to snoring. I went back to wrapping checking on her every few minutes. Weird. She had went to bed early the night before. Why was she so tired. I asked her "Are you okay?" "I'm just really tired." Okay. No problem. "I took my vitamin it was hot." Um no vitamins. What do you mean hot?!? "I looked at the floor." Okay what in the world. I looked up the symptoms for stroke. I knew there was this acronym to remember. FAST Facial Drooping -- Nope she could smile and make faces. Arm Weakness -- Nope she could hold up both arms. Speech -- Yeah what was going on?!? Time -- Get to the ER as fast as possible...But she doesn't have insurance. If I take her to the ER and she's just stressed and tired. Just her blood sugar. Just the start of a cold. She's just tired...right? I kept checking. I kept hoping she would wake up and be normal. Nope. 8pm I said Okay this is enough. Let's go. To the ER we went.

When you get the ER and tell them what has happened and you look around to see how full the ER is and yet they rush you into a room. You wonder....that's nice...wait what's that mean? It means the case is critical. It was. My mom had had a stroke. My whole world was crushing. Now to find out why, how bad, how to stop it, get test and test after test. Wait and wait and wait. Doctor after Doctor. I stayed by her side other than a few moments where my husband brought me home long enough to shower and eat then run back. It was lonely. It was scary. It was terrifying. My 2nd brain wasn't talking to me. My mom was so confused she wasn't speaking. The news took forever. It was scary to hear. Yes it was a stroke. Maybe a blockage. Maybe surgery. Maybe death. Maybe never get better. Wait. What?! This is my mom....this was my mom....this needs to be my mom again. I broke down on some stranger they called in because I begged to speak to someone anyone who could just listen and hug me. Poor guy showed up, walked in, hugged me, and just listened. He was the hospital Chaplin and he did fantastic. He listened. He let me cry like a child. I threw everything at him. I mean come on it's Christmas time!! I have laundry and I never finished wrapping. He just listened. When my husband would talk to me I would be strong. I would respond how I thought I was supposed to. I'm strong. I can handle this. When I was talking to this stranger who didn't know me. I didn't have to be strong. I was crushed. This wasn't fair. This wasn't my mom. This wasn't me. This was not okay. He listened and he gave some advice. He talked about other things. He asked about Jeremiah. He made me smile thinking of how great my life really was...He gave me another hug. He told me it would be okay. After. I felt renewed energy. Finally then the good news started coming...

The results were finally in. No blockages. Minor stroke. She was cleared by physical therapy. She got up and walked down the hallway. She wasn't hurting. She was just confused. It affected her confusion and verbal section of her brain. She was there just needs time. Medicine change would be enough. She could go home. She will be okay. We can do this. I can help. I know her. I know what she needs. Breath....Last night we made it home. To our own beds. To our own home. Today I got everything finished wrapped and ready to go. My sweet husband finished the few things I couldn't wrap myself this evening. My mom is responding well. Yeah she is confused but she's doing better. Every question I ask gets easier. We can do this. I can figure it out. Together we will be okay. Together we will be...

We keep saying....One day we will look back at the Christmas that almost wasn't and shake our head. What a bad thing to have happened. But it happened. Now we deal with it. Now we heal.

Please make sure to enjoy life. Make sure to love your loved ones. Make sure to enjoy everyday. We never know what tomorrow will bring. No matter what we plan sometimes life can really throw our world into a blur of craziness.